“And so does Mike’s fiancée.”“Hey, nerds need love, too!” I declared with a smile. “We’re just circumspect about it!”“Mike,” Dean Anderson said, “you’ll need to sign the report once it’s written so I can attach it to the expulsion order.”“What about her slapping him?” I asked.“That’s going to depend on everything else that happened. It’s unlikely the police will act on that. Now, if she’d clocked him with a frying pan or a baseball bat, then it would be different. But the police, and the courts, give women serious leeway for a slap across the face. I’m sure you can imagine why.”“I can. Doesn’t he have a right to appeal the expulsion?”“Yes, of course. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but the Student Handbook is clear and direct about physical violence. There is zero tolerance.”“I wasn’t meaning he’d win, just that the expulsion order isn’t final until the appeal is denied or the appeal period expires.”“That’s true, but if he’s arrested and charged with a violent crime, the. And so on and so on, with you feeling more and more terrible all the time. Do you see how it keeps feeding back on itself and each time it adds to the problem? That’s called a positive feedback loop.”“Oh!”“So you end up at the bottom of a really deep hole – depressed and miserable.”“Yeah! So?”“So, what you should try to do is stop that feedback loop from starting up.”I thought about what he was saying for a moment.“Do you mean not get embarrassed in the first place? How could I do that?”“Embarrassing things happen all the time – you can’t avoid that. The trick is to stop yourself from feeling bad about being embarrassed. Or maybe stop yourself from running away when you get embarrassed.”I screwed up my face. That sounded hard.“Everyone gets embarrassed. When it happens, most people try to laugh it off. They make a joke or pull a funny face or make themselves laugh or whatever. I bet you could think of lots of times when you’ve seen someone do something strange because they were.
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